I have read and watched so much on television about bullying in recent times. I love how last night Glee really zeroed in on gay bullying. The awareness it brings helps people to identify it when it is occurring so that it can be addressed and stopped. The only thing that is missing is a way to empower people to actually address it and say no: to know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with them and they don’t have to take the abuse. Way too many young people are taking their lives at the expense of ignorant people looking to fill their empty egos and low self-esteem.
With that I transition into a very related topic that I have dealt with indirectly for way too long: workplace bullying. I did a quick non-scientific search on Wikipedia, and found their definition of workplace bullying to be the tendency of individuals or groups to use persistent aggressive or unreasonable behavior against a co-worker or subordinate. Tactics used can be verbal and nonverbal, can be psychological, and can include physical abuse and humiliation. The interesting thing about workplace bullies is that they tend to work within the rules and policies that their company or organization has in place. Their bullying tends to occur regularly, endure over long periods of time, and increase over time. There is definitely a power component to this and any other type of bullying or abuse. I can apply the power and control wheel here; workplace bullies may use intimidation, coercion and threats, emotional abuse (putting you down), and isolation to gain power and control over others. If you come into work afraid of what your coworker might do to you that day; then they are evoking fear and intimidation to control and exert power over you. They also may minimize, deny, or blame you for workplace problems, or even make problems out of nothing so that they have a reason to come after you. Here are some other tactics I found:
- Falsely accused someone of "errors" not actually made.
- Stared, glared, was nonverbally intimidating and was clearly showing hostility.
- Discounted the person's thoughts or feelings ("oh, that's silly") in meetings.
- Used the "silent treatment" to "ice out" and separate from others.
- Exhibited presumably uncontrollable mood swings in front of the group.
- Made up own rules on the fly that even she/he did not follow.
- Disregarded satisfactory or exemplary quality of completed work despite evidence.
- Harshly and constantly criticized having a different standard for the target.
- Started, or failed to stop, destructive rumors or gossip about the person.
- Encouraged people to turn against the person being tormented.
- Singled out and isolated one person from coworkers, either socially or physically.
- Yelled, screamed, threw tantrums in front of others to humiliate a person.
- Stole credit for work done by others (plagiarism).
- Abused the evaluation process by lying about the person's performance.
- Declared target "insubordinate" for failing to follow arbitrary commands.
- Retaliated against the person after a complaint was filed.
- Made verbal put-downs/insults based on gender, race, accent, age or language, disability.
- Assigned undesirable work as punishment.
- Created unrealistic demands (workload, deadlines, duties) for person singled out.
- Launched a baseless campaign to oust the person; effort not stopped by the employer.
- Encouraged the person to quit or transfer rather than to face more mistreatment.
- Sabotaged the person's contribution to a team goal and reward.
I see this everyday. Everyone around me sees this everyday. So why hasn’t anyone said anything? Why hasn’t anyone stood up to it, and shouted loudly, NO! Well, in this case, and most others, I would say it is due to learned helplessness. We have all learned to be powerless over our situations/ circumstances/environments. People have brushed it aside, invalidated the experiences of the employees, and have sent them back to their desk like nothing even happened. Like the victim made it up! The people who bully know they can get away with it, and continue to do so. What’s stopping them, and what good does it do to keep complaining about it? No one will do anything! Maybe it is me that is creating this in my own mind? Can we see how wrong this is on so many levels?!!! We are reinforcing the bully’s behavior by saying it’s ok, keep coming at me, I can’t do anything about it. Plus, from my own personal opinion, I feel that the situations are so bad within companies that they would literally have to bring someone in to restructure the entire place, work on communication, team building, and so on. I’m sure some employers look at what needs to be done and say to hell with it. That is more work than just letting the situation continue. Maybe it will just go away.
The saddest thing about this situation is that most people need their jobs to keep them afloat financially. How much room do any of us have right now to be searching for jobs that aren’t available. For many, its better to tough it out with the crappy job they have than to not have one at all. They are stuck. They have nowhere else to go. Having a voice could mean not having a job at all. Is it a risk one is willing to take? I’m guessing not so much.
Here are the health affects. People are more stressed, which affects their physical and mental health, leading to more sick days taken. Employees become emotionally exhausted for obvious reasons! Effects can be even more severe as leading to PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and even suicide. I wonder if anyone really thinks about this! Financial costs to employers surely takes a hit as well considering these bullies are spending more time terrorizing their victims than actually doing their work. They might as well change their job title to bully! The number of lost dollars is in the millions; it’s unbelievable!
From “How to have confidence and power in dealing with people” by Les Gibson, here is how to understand a bully. When they attempt to make you feel inferior, they are showing that they in fact have a low opinion of themselves. The bully needs so badly to increase his or her self-importance by means of putting you down. The bully is also afraid. I try to look at them like they are scared little children.
In my situation, I am making the decision to stand up to this crap! I can’t see friends and the people I love be subjected to this nonsense. I can do this though because I am pretty fearless. I value my integrity, loyalty, and dedication to do good and help others in this world. I’m also pretty persistent. I know it’s easier said than done, but I hope I have empowered and inspired others to stand up to workplace bullies. Band together with your co-workers and work with management to put an end to it. The more people who come forward, the more valid the experiences are, and the more it can’t be denied. These bullies are not as scary as they may seem.
References
Wikipedia-Yes I used it.
Giblin, L. (1956). How to have confidence and power in dealing with people. New York, NY: Penguin Putnam Incorporated.
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